One (and-a-half-pot) Corn-y Wonder

Last year I decided to grow corn in my garden. It felt like one of those summertime things you'd do in the American midwest, in the 70s, while wearing a long cotton dress and... I'm not really sure... I think in my head I've combined what I know about the horror film Children of the Corn with some happy Wizard of Oz kind of fantasy... 

But I decided to grow some corn. And I was so excited watching the little shoots pop up and when I saw the first heads of corn with their funny yellow beads inside it was glorious! But the problem was (as with many of my vegetable exploits) I had been over enthusiastic. I planted about 12 corn plants, and with military-level organisation they all decided to ripen at exactly the same time.

They also happened to ripen when I was in the middle of a uni assignment that made me want to stick a drill inside my brain. So I was stuck, with endless, rapidly-ripening corn and a mind that was totally sapped of any creative ability to concoct recipes worthy of them. Oh, my poor little friends that I planted and watered and watched for so long.

And you know what the terrible thing is? At least four of the little corn buddies that I picked in a rush ended up wrinkling away in the fridge while I struggled at my computer, skulling coffee and forgetting about making nice food, and forgetting about summer, and forgetting about cotton dresses and yellow brick roads and sinister preachers and demonic deities. 

So this recipe is for them. I'm sorry I forgot you. I'll never do it again because now I know I'll just make this TASTE EXPLOSION of a dish, which takes barely any time, and pretty much only needs one-and-a-half pots!

Rightio! So to make this glorious dish (serves 2), you'll need:

  • One brown onion, sliced
  • A splash of balsamic vinegar
  • A splash of olive oil
  • ~3 garlic cloves, crushed
  • A handful of cherry tomatoes
  • 2 corn cobs
  • A few sprigs of parsley
  • Half a hunk of haloumi (I like the chilli variety the best!), chopped into ~2cm cubes


And now, here is what you must do!

  • Splash your splashes of olive oil and balsamic vinegar in a frying pan, along with the onions. Did you know that frying onions with balsamic vinegar is one way to caramelise them? You can also do it with maple syrup or brown sugar, but I like balsamic vinegar best because it's zesty! Mmm. Fry those onions until they're golden brown and tasty lookin', then put them aside in a bowl.
 Side note: This is a one-and-a-half-pot wonder because as you fry each component you can put them aside in the same bowl and re-use the frying pan! The half-a-pot bit is for the pot of boiling water that you'll cook the corn in soon, but because it's really just a pot of boiling water it preeeetty much cleans itself, so it only counts as half a pot!
  • Next, fry up the haloumi, turning it so that each side goes a nice crispy brown. Like pancakes in a savoury cheese-heaven. Once they're nicely fried, put them in the bowl with your onions. 
  • Boil some water and put it in another pot with your corn so that it totally covers the corn. Boil them up for about 5 minutes, they shouldnt take long at all, you want 'em nice and crispy! 
  • While your corn is boiling, chuck the cherry tomatoes, garlic, parsley and some salt into the frying pan and let them fry until the cherry tomatoes have started to soften. You don't want to let them cook for too long though, don't let them start to break up, you want to keep them as nice little tomato flavour-bubbles. Now is also a good time to add copious amounts of chilli, if you are so inclined (I highly recommend!)
  • Once your corn is cooked, slice off those tasty golden-yellow nuggets into our onion & haloumi bowl. Give it all a good stir and then throw it back into the pan with the tomatoes. Cook everything together for another minute or so to heat it all back up. 
  • Put it in a bowl
  • Eat it with a fork
Casey Lister