There are high maintenance cakes, and then there are low maintenance cakes. High maintenance cakes require you to combine their ingredients in overly-complicated ways. You'll probably have to cream the butter and the sugar in one mixing bowl, while whisking the egg whites into soft peaks in another. Then you’ll have to ‘fold’ in the dry ingredients. Which is completely stressful because basically its impossible and there are always lumps and I always get impatient and just stir it viciously until it’s smooth, which totally defeats the purpose of all the gentle folding. Once they're cooked, high maintenance cakes have to be perfectly iced using one of those fiddly piping bags with the special star-shaped nozzles, then they have to be positioned into artful layers, which will slide off each other onto your lap when you're driving to the party, leaving you covered in your ostentatious icing and rueing the day you decided to try and be fancy.
High maintenance cakes need to be dressed up nicely and taken to dinner. You’ll need to spend your weekends watching their boring-ass cricket matches, and pick them up from parties at 3am when they’ve had a few too many. They don't approve of your outfits, they don't make enough effort with your friends and they only ever want to watch black and white subtitled films. Well STUFF THAT.
There are high maintenance cakes, and then are low maintenance cakes.
This is a low maintenance cake.
(serves 8, each serve is approximately 320 calories)
3 overripe bananas, mashed
2 eggs, whisked
1 cup almond meal
2 Tbsp honey (use 3 Tbsp if you're a sweet-tooth)
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 cup whole meal self raising flour
2 tsp baking powder
A punch of salt
1/2 cup soy milk
2 Tbsp tahini
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
1 1/2 tsp granulated sugar
1/2 cup coarsely chopped hazelnuts
Put everything in a bowl except the granulated sugar and the hazelnuts. Stir until the mixture is smooth
Pour your cake mix into a non-stick loaf tin. Scatter the granulated sugar and hazelnuts on top, then bake for 30-40 minutes at 180˚C, until a knife inserted into the centre of the loaf comes out clean.
Serve warm with fresh fruit, plus butter, honey, tahini or peanut butter as a spread (or just eat with your fists straight out of the loaf-tin because you are a strong independent lady - or gentleman - and you'll do whatever you damn well please)